First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
