I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
