I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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