Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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