You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
