So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
