Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
