She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize