dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just threw up on my dentist
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
