i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
