I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
