My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
