You're so nebulous sometimes
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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