I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
