Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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