Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I didn't notice because vodka
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
