She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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