I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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