So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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