we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
