i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
