I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ok first of all what the fuck
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
