"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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