We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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