Don't you send me to vm
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
