Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
