i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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