Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
