Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
honey bunches of taint.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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