We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
