I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
you never un-have a 4some
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize