Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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