Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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