We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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