I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
