no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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