I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
