i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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