whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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