Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
