people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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