I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
