DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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