please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
