If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
