You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
