Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
