Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
