when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
