She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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