And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
