Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I met the friendliest cop last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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